I have been working for Mimir for three days and haven’t seen Mr. Payne once. Of course, I have been stuck down in the basement the entire time. It hasn’t been terrible, Mr. Shapiro is great. He’s a talker. Loves to tell stories and get people to laugh. Sorting mail can get tedious and I think it’s wonderful that Mr. Shapiro makes people want to come into work and do a good job. Perhaps Mr. Payne could take a lesson from him.
“I hear there is cake in the conference room up on the 28th floor.”
I freeze at Cameron’s words. He’s one of the mail sorters and has been showing me the ropes the past few days. Helping me out especially when I screw up, this is often. Like when I sent the sales reps all the complaint letters meant for the support team. A riot almost ensued, but Cameron saved me and told the Sales Manager it was just a practical joke. The Sales Manager, Jeffrey, loves jokes and was laughing by the time Cameron was done talking with him.
“Is something wrong Morgana? I said cake, not, um...you know.”
Finally, I shake myself out of it. Today is a wondrous day! Why? Because cake is love. Let me explain.
I like cake. No that’s not right, I LOVE cake. Cake and I have a relationship. We have done things together, multiple things. I’m not proud of some of them, but I never heard the cake complain. Some of those ‘incidents’ may have been illegal, but we never got caught and I think I saw the cake smiling after it was over.
Seriously, who doesn’t like cake? No one that’s who! If you don’t like cake then I don’t know you. Who are you and why have you come here?
That is when Cameron says the four sweetest words in the English language, “It is birthday cake.”
Birds are chirping and I think I feel the warm sun penetrating the three foot thick cement wall while pushing its rays down twenty feet below the Earth’s surface to warm my face. Glorious! Glorious birthday cake! It doesn’t try to be fancy or over the top. Birthday cake doesn’t have to be, it knows I will eat it. No flirting required.
Birthday cake at the office, well that’s just an awesome cherry on an already awesome cake! It’s my third day on the job and who would have thought the greatest gift that can be bestowed upon a new employee, the office birthday party, would happen to me? It may only consist of a lousy sung version of Happy Birthday, paper plates, woefully inadequate plastic ware and cake but it’s the fact that cake is given freely that makes this shindig the hip place to be. It may be some random guy’s birthday party that I have never met and will not see again for another year, but that doesn’t matter. What is important is there is cake.
Dropping the stack of envelopes I have in my hand I race to the elevators. I hear Cameron jog up behind me. He is breathing hard. Based on his size and his middle age, I can only assume cardio is not a part of his workout routine.
The doors ding and part allowing us to enter. We are riding up, the numbers light up on the wall somewhere in the teens when his breathing finally settles.
“I guess you like cake.” He chuckles while elbowing me in the side.
“Cake and I will be married one day. It doesn’t know it yet, but I have been eyeing a ring.”
Cameron stares at me with wide eyes and then erupts in laughter while giving me a firm smack on the back. He likes to hit people on their back. The first day when I came home I swear there was a red hand mark on my shoulder blade.
The door opens to the 28th floor and we emerge. Like a wolf following a scent to prey, I too use my nose to find out where the cake is hiding. Since I am human and do not have the heightened sense of smell similar to a wolf, I somehow wind up in front of the men’s room.
I look around and notice Cameron is nowhere to be found. He abandoned me that bastard. I turn to go when I hear a man’s deep voice.
I turn to see Mr. Payne exiting the bathroom.
“Good afternoon Mr. Payne.”
His lips twitch and there it is ladies and gentleman! The very subtle mouth twitch, ha, ha! He isn’t a robot or cyborg or whatever being lives and breathes without feeling. Mr. Henrik Payne feels. He feels...uh...what? Why did his mouth move when I said good afternoon? Does he like the phrasing or that I remembered his name? Because I will admit I am not good at remembering names. I may have met a person twenty times and still not remember their name.
"You wear glasses?" His brow scrunches as he tilts his head.
"Yes, normally I wear contacts but the dust from the basement irritates my eyes, so this week I'm wearing my glasses." I gave a slight smile. His eyes flickered from my glasses to my body for a fraction of a second before he returned my gaze and cleared his throat.
“I’m glad I caught you Ms. Drake. Please come into my office there are some matters I wish to discuss with you.”
He starts to walk past me when I blurt out, “But the cake?”
Mr. Payne stops in his movement and swivels to face me.
“Yes, I asked them not to do this for me, but Edgar and Jacob insisted. Do not worry about feeling you have to make an appearance because you are my assistant, they will understand.”
But I won’t Mr. Payne! I need my fix!
“Cake...” I half whine and half mumble as I follow him into his office.
He moves to his chair and makes himself at home while I stumble like a zombie to the seat in front of his desk, my brain repeating the word ‘cake’ over and over again in my head.
“Mr. Shapiro has told me you have made an excellent member of his team this week. He likes your drive and dedication. Normally I would have you work two weeks in each department but you seem to grasp things quickly. So, as of Monday you will move to the fifth floor which is Accounting. Ms. Jackson is the manager there, she will direct you what you are to do.”
Accounting? Ugg! If ever there’s a job that is the opposite of what I am to do in life, it is accounting. I took an elective accounting class in college and after two days the professor told me to drop the class. Two days! Even he could tell I would never get it.
“Alright Mr. Payne.”
What am I going to say, no? I need this job so I have to suck it up and do a week of accounting. Hopefully it’s only one week. What if I am so bad at it he makes me stay there for a month until I understand everything? I am starting to get nervous like one of those dreams where you show up naked for class and you find out there is quiz that you never studied for.
He stares at me for a moment, which is unusual for him, and then proceeds to reach over and open his desk drawer. Only his desk drawer won’t budge. He gives a few good tugs and nothing happens. I hear him mumble under his breath as he gets up and puts all his weight into it.
“Here let me help you with that Mr. Payne.”
I get up and walk around his desk.
“If I can’t get it open, what makes you think you can?”
He spits out the words while continuing to manhandle the drawer. I smirk and tap my foot. The mafia has ways of making people disappear; well I have ways of making things unstuck. It’s one of my many talents. I would wink after that comment but that would seem inappropriate, especially in this scenario.
“Do you want me to try or not?” My arms are folded over my torso letting him know I am doing him a favor.
He lets go of the handle and chuckles. Mr. Payne actually laughs. I didn’t think that was possible from him. The way everyone talks, especially the mail room staff (they know everyone’s business), you would think Mr. Payne was born with a hole in his brain where humor should be.
“Be my guest.” He waves his hand at the draw and sits back into his chair, swiveling it around to face me for the show.
I give him a knowing smile and make a big show of trying to pull the handle, knowing my little wrist trick works every time. He will be amazed that a light tug from me dislodges the sticky drawer. I get ready to flick my wrist and pull...nothing. I do it again and again. Still nothing. What the hell?
I am tugging and tugging at it, placing my healed shoe on the desk for leverage and yank with all my might.
“I think that’s enough Ms. Drake. You can...”
I got the drawer unstuck, but it caused me to lose my balance and fall over right into his lap, face first.
Find out what happens next in THE Zipper Incident
This blog is 18+ years age appropriate only!
Payne Posts Menu
63. THE Insane
62. THE Bechmann
61. THE Morning After
60. THE Attack
59. THE Decision
58. THE Emergency
57. THE Welcome Home
56. THE First Day Back
55. THE Strange
54. THE Question
53. THE Crazy B
52. THE Teacher
51. THE Discussion
50. THE Mommy
49. THE Bar Fly
48. THE Watchful Eye
47. THE Big Guns
46. THE Never
45. THE Feast
44. THE Bathroom Threesome
43. THE Pee Pee
42. THE Fine
41. THE Shirt Attack
40. THE Police Song
39. THE Discovery
38. THE Pull
37. THE Aria Show
36. THE Switch Up
35. THE Delivery
34. THE Scheme
33. THE Drink
32. THE Uncomfortable Silence
31. THE Online Experience
30. THE Same Old Shi
29. THE Talk
28. THE Drunk Dial
27. THE Birthday
26. THE Meeting
25. THE New Job
24. THE Disagreement
23. THE Big Movie
22. THE Sleepover
21. THE Club
20. THE Leave
19. THE Beggar
18. THE Confrontation
17. THE Jackoff
16. THE Bathroom
15. THE Joint
14. THE Let Down
13. THE Truce
12. THE Phone Call
11. THE Assistant
10. THE New Year
9. THE Payneful Reminder
8. THE Holiday Party
7. THE Zipper Incident
6. THE Cake
5. THE Incident
4. THE Paperwork
3. THE Letter
2. THE After Effects
1. THE Interview