Alexander is standing in my bedroom and I think, just a few months ago he was doing the same thing dripping wet. He was unknown to me then, just a hot guy who gave me a thrill but now I understand him. He isn’t a mystery to be pawed at until I scream his name in pleasure. Now, he loves me and I love him but the mystery is replaced by uncertainty.
It’s his eyes I think. His hypnotic eyes, the ones that captivated me from the first time I saw them in that parking garage, only now they won’t look at me. I’ll look. My eyes sweep over his clenched jaw to his black T-shirt and dark jeans. My heart stutters and skips just as much as it did that rainy night not so long ago. Especially as he walks over to me and cups my chin with his fingers.
As he tilts my head up his eyes finally meet mine and I know tonight is different for him. Something passes behind his eyes, a decision maybe or perhaps some strength I have never seen on him before. Whatever it is, his gaze causes me to shutter.
“How is Morgana?”
All this, his dark look, his uncertain stance and that is what he asks me?
“She’s fine. I have seen her worse. I gave her some Advil and made her drink some water before I put her to bed. I’ll check on her in a bit before I go to bed.”
It was that last line that caused his eyes to widen ever so slightly. So subtle that if I had not been this close to him, close enough to feel his warm breath against my cheek, my chin and slinking down my throat, I might not have noticed. But I did.
“Alexander what is going on? You have been so distant from me since your mom showed at Morgana’s party. You say you love me but you certainly don’t show it.”
He breaks my gaze and in that one movement it’s as if all of him shifted to the floor, melting into the cracks in the wood. After a moment which felt more like a year Alexander takes a fortifying breath and returns to me.
“I have made a decision, about us.”
Something grows in my throat making it hard to breath, to swallow. But I try to do both. I know he is about to end this. Now I will know what it feels like to be dumped. Yes, I am one of those annoying women who has never been dumped, but I never really had relationships with men to get dumped. I had one boyfriend my senior year in high school, but we sort of just drifted apart once we went off to college.
All the times I helped my friends get over heartache, I never knew how they felt. It’s awful. It seems as if sound is being muffled by my heart swallowing my eardrums. My skin is on fire and yet I am shaking. I try to stop my teeth from chattering by clenching my jaw as I pull my head away from his hand.
I can’t look at Alexander, not while he crushes me. This is what I get for opening my heart to him. I would have stood by him through anything but I was a fool to believe he would do the same.
“Just get this over with Alexander. I can’t take all this waiting. If you are going to destroy me with your words, then do it already so I can start to heal.” My voice wavering as I do my best to get the words out.
I turn my head to watch him take off his shirt and start to pull down his jeans.
“What are you doing?”
Alexander stops with his jeans around his ankles, having already pulled off his shoes, “Getting undressed. You said you wanted to get this over with. I have to be naked to make love to you. Or do you have some fantasy where I am dressed while we do it?”
His brow knits together in confusion while I try to stop my eyes from blinking.
“Aren’t you going to break…wait, you want to have sex?”
I am just utterly confused at this point.
He kicks off his jeans and stands there in dark socks with black boxer briefs making me want to melt into the floor.
“Yes, I told you I made a decision. I think it’s time I try to move past my hang up about sex and we try tonight. Aria, you have been so patient with me.” The corner of Alexander’s mouth ticks up causing me to melt even further, “And I seem to be comfortable with what we have tried so far, which has been a lot. That’s why I thought about it, that tonight we should implement plan X.”
A few weeks ago I labeled our eventual sex act plan X. I was only joking, trying to make light of the situation. Every time I brought up having sex with him he would become stressed, so I figured a different name might help. He did think it was funny and started to talk about it a bit more.
“Oh, uh…okay. Yeah, let’s have sex. Okay!”
Phew! This is so much better than getting dumped. Now that I know what getting dumped feels like, I don’t ever want to go through that again. He better not ever leave me. Wait, that sounded kind of psycho. I’ll work on the details about if he ever wants to leave me, later, because right now I am going to have sex!
Oh sex, how I have missed you. Dildos and vibrators just aren’t the same. I will even admit that his mouth and fingers, just aren’t enough – though they are a very close second. Nothing compares to an actual penis full on up in my vagina. Sorry if that sounds a bit crass but I got sex on the brain!
As quick as I can I rip off my red blouse and black cigarette pants. I pause thinking I might want him to peel off my black lace bra and panties. Alexander’s eyes darken as they wash over my body. I follow his gaze and take in my body.
Nah, he will take too long removing my undies, best take them off now so we can jump right in to the good stuff. With a few ninja like moves I have my bra across the room and my panties rocketing toward Lake Michigan.
I hold out my arms, “I’m ready, let’s get to this.”
Alexander laughs, throwing his head back and then walks over to me. He picks me up with surprising grace and whisks me over to the bed to gently lay me down.
“Let’s talk.” He says as I try my hardest to swallow a groan.
I’m not like a lot of women. There are probably millions of women who would love to have a sexy half-naked guy in their bed asking to talk, I’m not one of them. When it comes to sex, you either put up or shut up.
I know that makes me sort of like a caveman but sex is fun, why ruin it with words. The only word I like to hear with sex are: oh fuck, I’m going to come, fuck – basically with anything, and my name screamed.
I grit my teeth, feeling like I am having a carrot dangled in front of me, just out of reach, “What do you want to talk about?”
Alexander crawls over me, forcing me to lay back as he leans in to my neck. My skin prickling to his warm breath, “Do you want me to fuck you on top or do you want to ride me Aria?”
Find out what happens next in The Attack
This blog is 18+ years age appropriate only!
Payne Posts Menu
63. THE Insane
62. THE Bechmann
61. THE Morning After
60. THE Attack
59. THE Decision
58. THE Emergency
57. THE Welcome Home
56. THE First Day Back
55. THE Strange
54. THE Question
53. THE Crazy B
52. THE Teacher
51. THE Discussion
50. THE Mommy
49. THE Bar Fly
48. THE Watchful Eye
47. THE Big Guns
46. THE Never
45. THE Feast
44. THE Bathroom Threesome
43. THE Pee Pee
42. THE Fine
41. THE Shirt Attack
40. THE Police Song
39. THE Discovery
38. THE Pull
37. THE Aria Show
36. THE Switch Up
35. THE Delivery
34. THE Scheme
33. THE Drink
32. THE Uncomfortable Silence
31. THE Online Experience
30. THE Same Old Shi
29. THE Talk
28. THE Drunk Dial
27. THE Birthday
26. THE Meeting
25. THE New Job
24. THE Disagreement
23. THE Big Movie
22. THE Sleepover
21. THE Club
20. THE Leave
19. THE Beggar
18. THE Confrontation
17. THE Jackoff
16. THE Bathroom
15. THE Joint
14. THE Let Down
13. THE Truce
12. THE Phone Call
11. THE Assistant
10. THE New Year
9. THE Payneful Reminder
8. THE Holiday Party
7. THE Zipper Incident
6. THE Cake
5. THE Incident
4. THE Paperwork
3. THE Letter
2. THE After Effects
1. THE Interview