It’s noon and I am pacing in front of Alexander’s front door. I told him I would come here for lunch but now I am starting to rethink this. All of this.
I am going to backtrack a bit. This, right here, is why I don’t get involved with men. The drama. The mothers or best friends or any other baggage they have lying around ready for me to trip over. With Alexander he has a whole luggage set.
I groan and fist my hands debating myself. I did promise to have lunch with him. Oh, and that’s another thing, say I do stay with him, will we ever be able to have lunch at my place or a cafe or walk out during the daylight? I know I am being picky here, but I kind of thought vampires were the stuff of legends.
Now I feel guilty. He has serious anxiety issues with being outside during the day and I am whining about it. I should consider myself lucky that a super hot, mega-rich, but more importantly super hot guy wants to be with me.
You see what I am doing to myself, going around in a circle. This is why I can’t bring myself to knock on the door.
The door swings open, ending my debate and I see Alexander on the other side, his thumbs hooked in his belt loops, looking super hot as usual. His yellow Art Nerd printed tee shirt firmly gripping his muscles. Wait, why was I debating having lunch with him?
“Do you want to have lunch in the hallway Aria?”
I shake my head unable to form words yet as my eyes are still fixated to his chest. His firm, ripped pectoral muscles that the flimsy cotton barely hides, calling to me.
“In that case, why don’t you come inside.”
Alexander steps aside to let me in. He guides me past the living room and down the hall to his dining room. I am shocked to find just a few platters of food on the long table. Sure, it’s still enough to feed several families, but it is a lot less than last time.
Great! Now I am getting wet thinking about last time I was in here with him.
We both grab a plate and dish up our food in silence. Not the comfortable, we-have-known-each-other-for-years type of silence, but the awkward who’s-going-to-speak-first kind of silence.
He takes a seat at the end of the table and I move to the other end to sit. We make random small talk. I comment about the food and he tells me the chef likes to experiment with soups.
Finally I put my napkin down and sit back in my chair, “So, I am thinking this thing with us isn’t really going to work out.”
Even from this far I can see him wince at my words. The food has made me feel better but not enough to realize this rollercoaster ride of a relationship is worth the long haul.
“Can I explain some things to you before you end it Aria?”
“Yes. Of course.”
He gets up and walks toward my end of the table. Grabbing a white chair set against the far wall, he drags it over and places it next to me. He reaches for my hand as he sits.
“My mother took me to a doctor when I was about eight years old. The doctor explained about being tested for Anti-Social Personality Disorder. My mother looked at me and I remember clearly the emptiness to her eyes. As if she didn’t really see me but turned her eyes to me just to look at something. After the appointment we never saw the doctor again and that’s when she started to explain to friends who came by, not that she had many, and anyone who would listen that I was diagnosed with a disorder. And she, being the good mom, was going to help me as best she could.”
I nod my head as he takes a breath, still wondering if I really should have come here.
“That doctor appointment wasn’t for me, it was with her doctor. I remember she had set up someone to watch me while she went to the appointment because, even though I was ten, she didn’t trust me to be left alone. Only, the babysitter had an emergency and couldn’t make it. So she dragged me along, complaining the entire way how big of a nuisance it was to her to have to take me. That doctor wanted her to get tested for the disorder, not me.”
I shake my head trying to make sense of everything, “Then why did she tell everyone, including me, that it is your problem, not hers?”
Alexander smirks at me, “Do you really think she is going to tell everyone it’s her problem?”
“No, I guess not. But then why tell anyone anything, even pushing the diagnosis on you?”
Alexander leans back in his chair letting go of my hand to rub his neck in frustration, “I thought about that for years Aria. Finally it dawned on me, it’s another way for her to control me, keep people away from me. I even began to believe it for a few years in my early teens. That’s the worst age to try to make friends and don’t even get me started on talking to girls.”
He lets out a small chuckle.
“I started to wonder if what my mom said was true, that maybe I would never be able to be around people, make friends and form connections. Once I got to college I started to realize that she was wrong about me, but some damage had already been done. I mean, what college guy has to pay for sex?”
I snort, “Yeah, I mean look at you!”
That came out wrong. I cringe and shake my head, “I’m sorry Alexander. That was rude.”
“Nah, you are right. It’s not like I’m disfigured or severely physically handicapped that I would have to turn to a prostitute for sex. But, I had other problems that kept me going back to them even when I found out they were call girls and not just women to date.”
Crap. Now I can’t break up with him. Just when I got up the nerve to do it he goes all puppy dog on me. How am I supposed to walk away from this: an insanely hot guy who has just enough problems that makes your heart break for him?
I can’t leave him, especially with a mother like his. I would wonder all the time if she was hurting him.
Pushing my chair back I get up and walk over to him. He grabs my hand and pulls me into his lap. I easily curl up in his large frame as we hold each other for a while. His hand starts to drift down to cup my ass, giving a firm squeeze.
“Does this mean you don’t want to end it with me?” I can hear the trepidation in his voice.
“How can I walk away Alexander? I still have much to teach you.” I look up and smile into his darkening eyes.
Find out what happens next in THE Crazy B
This blog is 18+ years age appropriate only!
Payne Posts Menu
63. THE Insane
62. THE Bechmann
61. THE Morning After
60. THE Attack
59. THE Decision
58. THE Emergency
57. THE Welcome Home
56. THE First Day Back
55. THE Strange
54. THE Question
53. THE Crazy B
52. THE Teacher
51. THE Discussion
50. THE Mommy
49. THE Bar Fly
48. THE Watchful Eye
47. THE Big Guns
46. THE Never
45. THE Feast
44. THE Bathroom Threesome
43. THE Pee Pee
42. THE Fine
41. THE Shirt Attack
40. THE Police Song
39. THE Discovery
38. THE Pull
37. THE Aria Show
36. THE Switch Up
35. THE Delivery
34. THE Scheme
33. THE Drink
32. THE Uncomfortable Silence
31. THE Online Experience
30. THE Same Old Shi
29. THE Talk
28. THE Drunk Dial
27. THE Birthday
26. THE Meeting
25. THE New Job
24. THE Disagreement
23. THE Big Movie
22. THE Sleepover
21. THE Club
20. THE Leave
19. THE Beggar
18. THE Confrontation
17. THE Jackoff
16. THE Bathroom
15. THE Joint
14. THE Let Down
13. THE Truce
12. THE Phone Call
11. THE Assistant
10. THE New Year
9. THE Payneful Reminder
8. THE Holiday Party
7. THE Zipper Incident
6. THE Cake
5. THE Incident
4. THE Paperwork
3. THE Letter
2. THE After Effects
1. THE Interview